Hey FFFN family! This blog entry is all about self-worth. It focuses on why it’s so important and how you can foster and strengthen your own value in a very competitive, challenging and often harsh society.
So, how often do you think to yourself, “I’m not worth it”? Sadly, I’m tipping most of you at one time or another. Self-worth can be loosely defined as “a feeling that you are a good person who deserves to be treated with respect”.
I’ve been researching the concept of self-worth because it is very much aligned with our FFFN values and there are a series of contributing factors that society deems to be the key determinants:
- Who you know – social status, whether you are linked in with influential, “important” people and how valued you feel within your social network.
- What you do – there are always comparisons when it comes to a person’s career. While one person may consider their self-worth based on having a high paying job with great responsibilities and power, others may feel that their sense of self-worth is strong because they work in a job that isn’t as well remunerated but gives them joy and satisfaction and allows them to care for others.
- Financial status – society will often consider someone with wealth to be more valuable and important than someone with a lesser net worth. Income, assets and material possessions all bear a lot of significance.
- Appearance – can be measured by weight, external presentation, eg. how someone dresses, how someone feels they look in the eyes of others and what kind of attention they receive.
- What someone achieves – almost every single person will look at achievements during life, whether they be career-based, in academic studies or sporting challenges, and measure these against others’ achievements.
It is really easy to fall into a trap where you look at others and think, “I wish I was successful like them” or “I wish I had a body like them” or “I wish I was rich like them” or “I wish I was popular like them”. With so many people’s lives being publicised on social media, or at least a version they want to be perceived, drawing comparisons and then pitting yourself against others is a human default position.
The thing is, the above list doesn’t determine your self-worth. In fact, it is the polar opposite. Reminding yourself that your bank account balance, job title, attractiveness and popularity are lesser than someone else has nothing to do with how valuable or worthy you are. These are aspects that are valued by society in general, but if you take a step back and consider what truly matters, you will realise that kindness, compassion, empathy and respect are the key determinants of worth.
So, what if instead of drawing comparisons and measuring your own self-worth on society’s expectations, you focus on YOU instead and ignore the peripherals? What would happen if you looked at yourself in the mirror today and said “I am great”?? Imagine how empowering it would be to focus on what you do have rather than what you don’t! And I don’t mean just your material possessions. I mean looking deeper into yourself and believing that your contributions are great, your values and morals are great, the way you treat others is great, your own self-respect is great and your strengths are great. Knowing you are worthy of happiness, fulfilment, consideration, respect and love.
Of course, it doesn’t go without saying that we all have flaws and weaknesses and at times, we may consider them to be not so great. But that’s ok. Having acceptance that you are an evolving work in progress is all part of the journey. And that acceptance in itself is powerful, so embrace it!
In the words of the wonderful author, Kathryn Stockett, who penned the novel The Help (which I encourage every single one of you to read), “YOU IS SMART, YOU IS KIND, YOU IS IMPORTANT”.
And also, YOU IS PROUD TO BE FAR FROM FKN NORMAL!
Catch you in the next blog!